Adam Kay (British comedian and author) has revealed that he was raped in a gay bathhouse while he was visiting New Zealand.
In his new book Undoctored: The Story of a Medic Who Ran Out of Patients, Kay shared the traumatic incident for the first time.
In New Zealand for a show, he decided to visit a gay bathhouse.
“A man in his 40s stood up, took my arm and wordlessly led me to a dimly lit cubicle, where he raped me.” The man then left him after saying “thanks”.
“I said no, again, when he started. I said no when he overpowered me and pushed my head into a wipe-clean cushion that stank of antiseptic,” Kay wrote, adding that he tried to scream but knew that no one could hear him.
“Not by this man who didn’t want to hear and not by anyone else, thanks to the rhythmical pounding of the music”. His rapist left after saying “thanks”.
“Thanks. You don’t say thanks to someone you’ve just raped, do you? Was coming here in the first place my consent?”
“Not pulling my hand away when he took my arm – was that a way of saying yes, in a language I’d never been taught, negating everything I would say afterwards?” wrote Adam Kay.
The comedian and author said he never reported it to the police or anyone as he thought no one would believe him.
“Saying it out loud would make it real; I would never be able to deny it or pretend it never happened, which already felt like my only way of getting through it.”
He feld the police would ignore his complaint and blame him by saying, “you can’t get raped if you go somewhere looking specifically for sex”.
Kay said for over a decade he was too “ashamed” to share the incident with anyone. “Or maybe I just knew from the moment it happened that I would never forget it: every minute, every second, etched into me in indelible ink, would be with me forever.”
Adam Kay’s Undoctored: The Story of a Medic Who Ran Out of Patients, is out on September 13.