{"id":1225,"date":"2012-05-28T20:01:45","date_gmt":"2012-05-29T00:01:45","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/bathhouseblog.com\/?p=1225"},"modified":"2017-03-03T15:24:29","modified_gmt":"2017-03-03T20:24:29","slug":"trans-m4m-gay-baths","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/bathhouseblog.com\/index.php\/2012\/05\/28\/trans-m4m-gay-baths\/","title":{"rendered":"Trans M4M Night At The Gay Baths"},"content":{"rendered":"

Trans M4M Night At The Gay Baths. San Francisco sex educator Niko Kowell<\/b><\/u><\/a>, a transmale program specialist, has created a program for Trans Men to be more comfortable at the gay baths. Trans M4M night takes place twice a month at Eros<\/b><\/u><\/a>, a bathhouse that has been operating for over 20 years.<\/p>\n

Trans M4M (nicknamed TM4M) consists of workshops where Kowell teaches everything from cruising and bathhouse techniques, safe sex information and even watching transgender flicks.<\/p>\n

Interview below (as the article is no longer available on-line)<\/p>\n

San Francisco Bay Guardian:<\/strong> Tell us about your experiences with gender and sexuality, particularly within gay male cruising and bathhouse culture.<\/p>\n

Niko Kowell:<\/strong> It\u2019s been interesting learning about gay male cruising. I come from a really communicative, consensual background when it comes to sex. And I have had to learn how to pick up men in a bathhouse in a completely different way. It\u2019s a lot more to do with eye contact. Being too verbal can be seen as a turn off. I\u2019ve also had to think of creative ways to disclose the fact that I\u2019m transgendered. Recently I\u2019ve taken to towel flashing hot guys I\u2019m attracted to.<\/p>\n

I had a lot of assumptions of what male cruising spaces would be like. People at sex clubs are looking to hook up. It\u2019s usually my safe sex practices that get me turned down more and not the fact that I\u2019m transgender. It\u2019s been good for me to learn that my trans-ness isn\u2019t always the reason why people aren\u2019t interested. There are are a number of reasons why someone wouldn\u2019t be interested. I\u2019ve also had to learn how to be my own best advocate. It\u2019s important to know what your boundaries are and be willing to stand by them.<\/p>\n

SFBG<\/strong>: Take us through the series of events that led to your position as a transmale program specialist.<\/p>\n

NK:<\/strong> Five years ago when I was in college I came to San Francisco and did an internship at Eros. I was studying psychology, and I was working on a paper entitled the \u201cFirst Timers\u2019 Guide to Playing With a Transguy.\u201d I went back to Ohio, graduated, and promptly returned to SF.<\/p>\n

Upon my return, I was working part-time at Eros when Luke Woodward, the previous program supervisor at Transthrive, hired me as a private contractor to do Transthrive events. Last October our program got funding, and now I get to focus predominantly on transmale programing.<\/p>\n

SFBG:<\/strong> Eros is already known to be a queer masculine and transinclusive space. Why have a night specifically geared to transmen?<\/p>\n

NK:<\/strong> It is important that TM4M happens at Eros because it gets transmen into a male space. It begins to build community between cismen and transmen, and it teaches everyone how to have casual sex with different types of bodies safely. TM4M is a space where transmen can talk about what it was like to transition and still be into the same gender. I want to reduce shame around the issue of transitioning and participating in one\u2019s sexuality.<\/p>\n

SFBG:<\/strong> What other events and projects are you currently working on?<\/p>\n

NK:<\/strong> I\u2019m working with Trannywood Pictures on a documentary project about transmen and their relationships to their penis, whether that be the cock they strap on or the cock they grew while on testosterone. The project was inspired by the 1999 documentary Private Dicks a special about cisguys and their relationships to their penis.<\/p>\n

SFBG:<\/strong> How do you identify with your gender today?<\/p>\n

NK:<\/strong> I identify strongly as transgender. I use male pronouns, and Istrongly feel genderqueer. I\u2019m really proud of my female history. It\u2019s important to me. I guess I identify as queer in general in regards to my sexuality and gender.<\/p>\n

SFBG:<\/strong> Are you currently dating anyone?<\/p>\n

NK:<\/strong> I\u2019m in a nonmonogamous relationship with a ciswoman. I almost predominantly play with men, and she almost predominantly plays with woman. It works for us.<\/p>\n

SFBG:<\/strong> Tell us something interesting and sexy.<\/p>\n

NK:<\/strong> I\u2019m versatile. It\u2019s hard for me to find cismen who want me to top them. I just want to dispel the rumor that all transmen who sleep with men are bottoms. That\u2019s why I wrote the top five reasons to fuck a transguy:<\/p>\n

1. Transguys are hot<\/p>\n

2. Trans cock is any shape or size you want, and it never goes soft<\/p>\n

3. Three holes are better than two<\/p>\n

4. Small hands make small fist(s)<\/p>\n

5. Curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back<\/p>\n

I\u2019m in part being cheeky with my list, and I acknowledge that every transguy is unique in the way they want to experience sex and their sexuality. I want people to keep in mind some transmen may not agree with these reasons.<\/p>\n

SFBG:<\/strong> What does creating a sex-positive space mean for you?<\/p>\n

NK:<\/strong> A sex-positive space should be free of judgement. There is no certain way to be a man or be sexual. You should be sexual in a way that makes sense for you. When I\u2019m facilitating dialogue about sex it\u2019s important that everyone in the room remain open and supportive.<\/p>\n

As a facilitator I\u2019m open and honest about my experiences. I sleep with men and women. I\u2019ve done porn. The people who keep coming back to my events are committed to cultivating a sex-positive space. It\u2019s about diversity and really connecting with the diversity of queerness.<\/p>\n

People should have the space they need to share their personal experiences, and we need to really be in support of each other as a broader GLBTQI community as well.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Trans M4M Night At The Gay Baths. San Francisco sex educator Niko Kowell, a transmale program specialist, has created a program for Trans Men to […]<\/a><\/p>\n<\/div>","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4564,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[47,1],"tags":[386,383,703,384,385],"class_list":["post-1225","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-san-francisco","category-usa","tag-eros-bathhouse","tag-niko-kowell","tag-san-francisco","tag-trans-men","tag-trans-men-for-men"],"yoast_head":"\nTrans M4M Night At The Gay Baths - Bathhouse Blog<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Trans M4M Night At The Gay Baths In San Francisco\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/bathhouseblog.com\/index.php\/2012\/05\/28\/trans-m4m-gay-baths\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Trans M4M Night At The Gay Baths - 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